REJI MATHEW, PHD, LCSW
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A Father's Day to Remember

6/10/2010

 
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One of the most memorable people I've interviewed in my travels is Ken Kunken, Deputy Bureau Chief of the Nassau  County District Attorney's office. Over 30 years ago, Kunken suffered a spinal cord injury at age 20 while playing  football at Cornell University, paralyzing him from the neck down. Despite his  life-altering injury, Kunken's gifted intellect and perseverance afforded him an  impressive string of academic and professional achievements. Ken would be the  first to say these pale in comparison to becoming a Dad. "Being a father is my  proudest accomplishment", says Kunken. When Kunken and his wife, Anna, decided  to have a family, they sought help from The Miami Project- an organization specializing  in fertility issues for paralyzed males.

They  were introduced to Dr. Bruce Gilbert, a specialist, at the Smith Institute for Urology in New Hyde Park,  Long Island. Through  the miracle of modern medicine, Ken  underwent procedures in sperm harvesting and Anna for in-vitro fertilization.  Four attempts later, Anna gave birth to triplets - Joey, Jimmy and Timothy. Now  age 5, each boy has a distinct personality, "Joseph is the oldest by one minute;
he is the leader and very talkative. James is the artistic one -mischievous- but  goes out of his way to help. Timothy is the quiet one, and likes to sit on my  lap," Kunken confided. This Father's day is a special one for the Kunken family.  Ken, along with his father Leonard Kunken, 88, and his father-in-law Kazik
Blazejcyk, 67, celebrated  early this week by presenting as a family on a  fatherhood session at the Smith Institute. Dr. Gilbert spoke about medical advances in  fertility options. Having been a devoted uncle for years before his marriage,  Ken shared a poignant memory on his transition to fatherhood, "When I went to the neo-natal unit to  spend time with my boys, I started to introduce mysel; 'Hi Joey, it's Uncle  Ken..' I caught myself (and added) … 'It's Daddy'. It was great to say that word  for the first time," Kunken said.  

Parenting has also profoundly impacted Kunken's  experience of his disability. Before fatherhood, Kunken explains his health  concerns - attendant care or transportation- took up his focus. "I still have  hard days, but their smiling faces help me put it aside. Making sure these boys  are the best  people they can be, is a challenge I enjoy every  day."


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